Mom’s who want to get back to work. September 21, 2012

For a career-oriented woman, having a baby brings their professional life to stand still. Often I meet women who face depression post prenancy. When Avi was born, since she was my first born, I had given up my fulltime job to look after her. But after a while, I found myself anxious all the time. By the time she was 3 months old, I started feeling like a cow :P. One fine day, I just decided to get in touch with the company that I worked fulltime with prior to my pregancy, and I asked them if I could work from home. I was lucky in a way, because they let me. Although I couldn’t enjoy the perks and responsibilities I achieved when I was a fulltime employee, I still enjoyed accomplishing goals everyday. It made me feel a lot useful and happier and I could at the same time look after Avishi, watch her grow and not feel guilty about being away from her.

The whole arrangement just suited me very well, and after doing that for over 2 yrs, I decided to get back to work fulltime. I felt Avishi, was old enough to be away from me for a couple of hours. Since she anyways started going to pre-school, for 3 hrs everyday and was actually enjoying it thoroughly, I thought I could stretch it for a couple of more hours and get back to work. So after settling down with a fulltime job, I looked for a preschool and a daycare (that had both in the same premises). Also chose one that is just a 2 min walk from my workplace.

Our routine nowadays – I drop her to school, go to work while she has fun in her preschool, eats her healthy meals (Her school is just great), sleeps for a couple of hours, plays and Voila! mommy is back to collect her from school. This arrangement has been working out for us quite well, while avi is making new friends and having a gala time with them, I get to achieve my goals at work. 🙂

Just a pointer for moms who want to get back to work-

• You will need to be with your child during the early years. They depend on you for everything. So look for a work from home option, or flexi- work (like work on sat & sun). You can look up http://fleximoms.in/  for convenient job oppurtunities.
• If you have a hobby, then pursue that. This lets you be sane and happy and avoids any kind of guilt factor.
• You can also consider becoming an entreuprener. Maybe you could convert your hobby into a career!!
• Once your child is over 2 yrs, you can consider taking up a fulltime job. But keep in mind to choose a good daycare, preferably in the same premises of the preschool and also a place that is close to your office.
• Initially you might face seperation anxiety, (I did too), but trust me the child will be alright. We (mothers) are the ones who get more anxious, they actually enjoy being in the company of other children.
• Once at work, try to ensure you leave on time and not stretch it! You have to maintain a work-life balance. If the company you work for doesn’t offer flexibility, quit!! Choose an employer who understands your situation and offers you flexibility. If you have to take a paycut, do so!

If you are in Gurgaon, and are looking out for a pre-school/daycare, consider choosing Intellitots. It is a great place for your child for their overall development and they really look after your child.

Avishi’s first birthday June 4, 2011

I was really excited about celebrating Avishi’s 1^st birthday. We didn’t want to have a grand party at a hotel, but wanted to have a small party at home. I started planning her birthday one month prior to her birthday. I first bought her dress …I bought a simple cotton dress, that had red polka dots running all over. I used the colors and design of her dress as the basic theme for the party.

The main concern for me was to have the perfect cake. I wanted a sugar paste cake, which you seldom find in the bakeries in India. The sugar paste cakes done abroad are so wonderful and professional. I went to at least 5 bakeries here…and finally found a bakery that did sugar paste cakes. I was doubtful if they could achieve what I wanted. After a series of discussions with them, I was finally convinced that they would do a decent job. I was really happy with the end product. The cake was designed to match her dress and it looked very cute.

Now for the décor, I decided to do everything in red and white. I got some chart papers from a local stationary shop and created many danglers. I hung them all over the place and it really gave a nice feel to the room. Also Avishi loved them, she kept looking at it all day 🙂 . I hung red and white balloons in every corner of the house. I used red and white crepe paper to decorate the backdrop of the cake table. I also decorated her high chair with some polka dots and balloons.

On the cake table, I had some jello’s  (all in red), some roses, the cake, some cookies, some strawberry wafers. I used red dinner disposable plates with white napkins for dinner. And white plates with red napkins for the cake and appetizers. The red napkins were courtesy my mom and dad. I used the red tissue to make a tissue flower for Avishi’s hair as well 🙂

I couldn’t find it anywhere here. I ordered the red dinner plates and polka dot glasses online. I was really happy with the products.

We served spring rolls, chicken lollypops and vegetable crispies for starters. For the main course, there was Chinese fried rice, Hakka noodles, chicken in black bean sauce and vegetable Manchurian.

I ordered some freshly baked cookies to be used as party favors for the guests. I bought some loot bags from our local grocery store.

All in all, Avishi had a gala time and I had a lot of fun planning and preparing for the party.

Education is much more than just a ‘Degree’ April 14, 2011

“The whole object of education is…to develop the mind. The mind should be a thing that works. “ – Sherwood Anderson

Education is significant for the growth of any country. Often people consider education as being able to read and write. But is education being literate or is it much more than that? Education is and should be the evolution of the mind and soul. Apart from reading and writing, education is to inculcate values, skills and knowledge to bring about a cultural and behavioural change in people. Education is not merely the teaching of various academic subjects; it is also the cultivation of total responsibility in the student. Most schools are concerned only with imparting of knowledge; they’re not at all concerned with the transformation of man and his daily life. Seldom educators realize that they’re responsible for the new generation.

There has always been a constant pressure from society: career first and everything else second. That is, money first and development of mind second. One should try to reverse this process because man cannot be cultured and civilised with money only.

Undoubtedly, literacy and education will improve the economic conditions of any nation but will that suffice? Especially in a country like India, where social evils like dowry, female  foeticide, women rights etc., still persists, economic  growth isn’t enough. Growth is not only the increase in finances but is much broader than that. To achieve growth in the broader sense, education also needs to be inculcated with a broader view.

Even today, CAs, Doctors, Engineers, MBAs, etc., indulge in dowry. In fact, higher the education degree higher is the claim for dowry. There are people who actually enroll themselves into a particular professional degree to receive a greater value in dowry.

Also, in this generation where a girl is doing almost everything a boy does, yet a girl born into a family is looked down upon and in many states (in India) a social stigma.

Furthermore, we find that these days, it has become a trend to violate traffic rules. People feel very proud and are gleefully satisfied whenever they flout a traffic rule. They spit on the road, litter in public spaces and then vociferously rant against government’s apathy. These nuisances are practiced by highly educated people. So what is the use of their education and what are they contributing to the society?

Education is not about gathering information and cramming formulae. It is about the flowering of the mind and spreading goodness to the society. Therefore, our education system needs to alter the way of teaching in order to generate a well rounded, cultured and civilised human being.

I have no time…oh really? March 16, 2011

I really don’t understand when people say “I don’t have time”. People can lead busy lives with hectic schedules but how can one not have time? I am a strong believer of this phrase “where there is a will, there is always a way”. So if you really want to do something or accomplish something or stay in touch with people you love…you will always find time to do so and you will definitely find a way to do so.

 

It’s all about getting yourself organized and sticking to a routine. If you don’t then you are obviously never going to have time for anything.

The other day I met some people, and a lady came up to and said to me Avishi must be keeping you so busy that you will not have time for anything and you mustn’t be getting time to even enjoy her actions and accomplishments. And I took some time to think about what she said…and I was like really? The answer was obviously no. I may be busy than ever, however I manage to finish with my office work, avishi’s  lunch and dinner, washing her bottles, taking a bath, spend time with my loved ones, doing the laundry and other home chores. And I also have time to play with her and enjoy her in every possible way.

Yes there are moments when I want to sit down and do NOTHING but when you become a mother you are the provider, caretaker and everything to your child so how can you not do anything. Yet, again I am thankful for a supportive husband who is there for me whenever I need him. I am able to go to the parlor for some pampering once in a while and that is my time. I sometimes take the car out and drive to the nearest market or mall and that is my time, while my hubby looks after Avishi.

As you keep getting older, you become more responsible and become responsible for other people as well. All this requires time and you learn how to deal with the different situations life throws at you. So when people say “I am too busy to do this or that” or when they say “I hardly get time” and I get baffled. C’mon guys, you surely have time but you just don’t know how to manage your time rightly.

Sometimes it is easy to blame people or circumstances for our own laziness or lack of discipline. Therefore, it is important to reflect, introspect and see how you can do things better and deal with things in a better way.