Thoughts, Ideas, Recipes, Tips….

How are girls any less? April 10, 2011

Filed under: Inscrutable Indians — jkomal @ 9:09 pm

Even today in India, there is a social stigma when a girl is born into the family. This may prevail in many parts of rural India but is the case different in urban India? Unfortunately no, even if parents are happy when a girl is born, even if parents send their daughters to good schools and college, ultimately when it comes to marriage everything goes backward. Even educated parents of educated daughters, in today’s times, have to give dowry to the boy’s family during the marriage and all the festivals and important occasions thereafter.

Educated parents of educated boy are no less, they always have this expectation that the girl’s family have to make them feel important and give gifts on every occasion or the other.

But why does such thinking still exist in today’s modern India? Why should there be such expectations? Why does the boy’s family feel as if they are doing a favour to the girl’s family by getting their son married to someone else’s daughter? In what way is the girl less?

Isn’t she as educated as the boy? Isn’t she working and financially independent? Isn’t she contributing to the family’s well being? Isn’t she the soul of the house and the family? Then why this difference, why this partiality?

It is a shame to see how on weddings, the girl’s family have to flaunt the amount of gold they are giving to their daughter and to the boy’s family members. It becomes a matter of prestige. What is so prestigious about this whole deed?

If the parents want to give their daughter something it is between the parents and daughter and not for everyone to see. Why then, does the mother in law want to know what is being given?

Also, why is there an expectation that the girl, after marriage should set all her loyalties only to the boy’s family? Why shouldn’t she help her parents in anyway (financially, physically or emotionally). Her parents did everything to bring her up and provided for her, so why shouldn’t she be there for her parents? Why is it looked down upon if she is still close to her family? Isn’t unfair? There is no such expectation from the boy’s side. In fact, the boy has to provide in every way to his parents, it is his dharm so why shouldn’t it be the dharm of the girl as well.

It saddens me to see that even in todays so called modern India, things hasn’t changed as much. We should all take a step to bring about this change. We must boycott such thoughts and deeds in every way possible.

Statistics of dowry deaths that occur in India:



South India is not only about Idli and Dosas April 9, 2011

Filed under: Inscrutable Indians — jkomal @ 11:48 pm

It is really ridiculous to see how people in India are divided by states, regions, religions and casts. India is a huge country with so much diversity and as an Indian we must be aware of the various kinds of people, places and food habits. Being ignorant is not going to help you and will only limit your growth as a person.

Often for most North Indians, South India is Madras and South Indian food is about idlis and dosas. Excuse me people!! South India has four states, and Madras/Chennai is the capital of one of those states (Tamil Nadu to be precise).  Remember that still from Chak de India, where Nethra Reddy responses to the man about the difference between tamil and telugu – “Difference between a tamil and telugu is the same as between a Punjabi and Bihari”. That was a good one, really nailed the stereotype that the North Indians have about South India.

Likewise, most North Indians think that South Indians eat idlis, dosas and vadas day in and day out. How ridiculous is that? Like everyone else in India, a typical south Indian meal comprises of some vegetables, dal, rasam and curds. The only difference is that it is cooked in a different style and again the style varies from state to state. Ya, they usually have rice instead of roti. But nowadays many even have rotis for lunch and dinner. Idlis and dosas are usually made for breakfast but it isn’t prepared every day.

Just because the restaurants market Idlis and Dosas as south Indian food, doesn’t mean that, that is the only thing that they eat. Even the home cooked north Indian foods are never served in restaurants, but no one assumes that all north Indians eats such food at home.

Therefore, before stereotyping people and making your own perception, it is important to learn about other people’s way of living, culture and lifestyle.  You have so much information available on the internet these days. Nowadays, the TV also has a number of travel and food programs that talk about different cultures, lifestyle and eating habits from which we can learn from.

Ultimately, you have the right to choose what you like and what you do not like, but never look at anyone’s lifestyle in a condescending manner. Just learn to adjust and appreciate what is good. If you don’t like something/someplace then you can always explore other places, foods etc.

In the mean time, enjoy those dosas and idlis 😀